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And exhale …
There is nothing quite like the anxiety of sitting in your oncologist’s waiting room, knowing that on the other side of the door are the results that will shape, or reshape, your future. That was my Tuesday. To my surprise, we landed in an unexpected place. I walked in untethered, not knowing, and I walked out NED. My pathology was Stage I. Exhale, literally …
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Buying forward: Not running won’t stop me from buying new shoes
Four weeks out from a robotic right hemicolectomy, I have more patience than energy — and apparently, more optimism than sense. It’s Ottawa race weekend, and while I know why I won’t be toeing the line this year, it doesn’t stop me from dreaming about what’s next.
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Can running be bad for you?
I remember seeing the articles start to circulate last year. It was in the middle of race season, and I was following some of my favorite road runners’ transitions to the trails and ultra distances. The correlation was between extreme distances and the incidence of colorectal cancer. Without reading closely, it had a logic: distance running is hard on your gut, creating an inflamed environment that gives rise to pre-cancerous lesions.
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When timelines collide
The thing about managing multiple primaries, I’m learning, is that overlapping timelines are unexpected triggers. I’m POD14 — 14 days post right hemicolectomy — solidly on a recovery timeline, albeit slower than I expected. And at the same time, my social media is serving me memories of starting chemotherapy two years ago for my endometrial cancer. That intersection has me feeling unsettled in a way that isn’t simply waiting for pathology results. It’s more of a reckoning…
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Hello from the other side …
I’m one week post-surgery, officially POD8, and sitting in the sun on a Saturday afternoon. I was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday and, if I’m being honest, this recovery has been something of a roller coaster. You never know until you’ve been through the treatment how your body will absorb the trauma, and mine has some strong opinions, it turns out.
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Let’s make a hard pivot
I was just getting into the headspace of starting immunotherapy this coming week when my phone rang at the end of the day last Thursday. It didn’t have call display, so I debated whether to even answer. Who would be calling me that wasn’t already in my contacts? I’m glad I picked it up. It was a colleague of my medical oncologist, calling to tell me that the tumor board had met. Instead of moving ahead with…
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Sitting with what comes next
I wish that title were tongue-in-cheek, but I tweaked my right knee last week, and for the last few days I’ve been resting my legs while the swelling goes down. It’s feeling better, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to run again by the weekend, but in the meantime, I’m feeling proud of myself for not running through an injury, however mild it might be.
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Everything comes in pairs
I really wanted to be boring for a while. But oh well. A few weeks ago, while waiting on pathology, I was musing about my colonoscopy results being ‘the other cancer shoe.’ Well, shoes do come in pairs, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when my doctor confirmed my colon lesion was malignant. To be precise: “Invasive poorly differentiated colorectal adenocarcinoma, BRAF Positive, dMMR, MSI-high.” Two primaries. One body. Zero chill from my cells, apparently.
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Is this the other shoe?
When I was first diagnosed, I was going through a detailed mammogram diagnostic process as well. Mine was the 1 in 10 pulled for recall, and the tomosynthesis showed cysts, prompting a recommendation for an additional ultrasound. In the end, it was all summarized as ‘bilateral simple and complex cysts, benign.’ A relief, but in the moment, it definitely felt like waiting for the other cancer shoe to drop. I’m learning that a CLS diagnosis is a…
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So this is what “normal” looks like.
I’m not sure where the last six months went. Well, I do know, but it surprises me that I’ve been less inclined to update here. For the year ahead, I’m setting the intention to keep this journal more current. So what’s new? Both my Hereditary Cancer Predisposition Panel and Developmental Disorders Panel returned a ‘clean’ status on all counts. My most recent blood draw saw all my markers in the ‘normal’ range for the first time in…
Welcome
I’m a 60+ masters runner documenting my journey with endometrial cancer, colorectal cancer, and Cowden-like Syndrome.
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Latest posts
- And exhale …
- Buying forward: Not running won’t stop me from buying new shoes
- Can running be bad for you?
- When timelines collide
- Hello from the other side …
Running from hysteria 